Greetings, loved ones and welcome to another edition of The Pint, where we translate the week’s news into memes, with a side of not so serious commentary.

It’s been another whirlwind week and naturally we were on hand to sacrifice our eyes, ears and what’s left of our dwindling sanity to condense it all into memes.

So sit back, relax and get stuck into the news you need to know, delivered to you via carefully crafted and curated memes.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes.

Quote of the Week

Thames Water’s £19bn debt crisis nearly pushed it to the brink, but a High Court-approved £3bn rescue loan has temporarily kept the taps running as the company continues to prove itself as the GOAT of useless water companies.

Without the deal, temporary nationalisation was on the table but for now, Thames insists the loan buys time to restructure and attract investors.

Critics argue it's just delaying the inevitable collapse and with six water companies fighting to raise bills above regulator Ofwat’s cap, customers could soon be paying the price. Some creditors are also outraged over the 9.75% interest rate and are appealing the ruling.

Decades of debt-loading, underinvestment and mismanagement turned the company into a financial disaster. Previous owners milked it for juicy dividends, while aging infrastructure racked up billions in maintenance needs.

The appeal process could overturn the ruling, throwing Thames Water back into uncertainty.

The first £1.5bn of the loan will last until autumn, but Thames still needs approval to hike bills by 53% (Ofwat has capped rises at 35%). Five other water firms are also pushing for higher bills, and if Thames can’t stabilise, nationalisation is still a possibility.

For now, nothing changes—your water keeps flowing, and sewage mostly goes where it should (for now).

Long term? Expect higher bills and more courtroom drama.

Alibaba founder Jack Ma returns to public life after 4 years out in the cold

Alibaba founder Jack Ma’s reappearance at a high-profile meeting with Xi Jinping is less of a triumphant return of a tech billionaire and more of a carefully choreographed dog with its tail between its legs.

While his presence signals a softening of China’s crackdown on the private sector, it doesn’t mean the leash has been loosened—just that Beijing is now holding it with a firmer grip and a reassuring, creepy smile.

After getting disappeared in 2020 following his criticism of China’s state banks, Ma is back—shaking hands with Xi but notably keeping his mouth shut.

If this is a comeback, it’s the kind where you don’t get to pick your own lines. Think more Biden teleprompter.

Markets took Ma’s presence as a bullish signal, sending stocks soaring, but this isn’t a return to the anything-goes era of Chinese capitalism. Beijing still wants control, it’s just switching tactics—from suppression to strategic supervision.

With economic growth stalling, youth unemployment rising, and the property sector wobbling, China needs the private sector—especially AI, semiconductors, and clean tech—to power Xi’s vision of “high-quality development.”

Ma’s return feels very timely—not as a sign of full rehabilitation, but as a convenient symbol for Beijing to show that the CCP values its entrepreneurs… just as long as they remember who’s really running the show.

UK Government tax receipts reach record levels in January

“Rachel from accounts” Reeves is in yet another fiscal bind.

January’s tax receipts surged but still missed expectations, while borrowing remains stubbornly high at £118.2bn this financial year—£11.6bn more than last year.

Public spending is rising, driven by higher costs for services, benefits, and debt interest, while growth remains sluggish and inflation is creeping back up.

Reeves’ self-imposed fiscal rules—debt must fall as a percentage of GDP, and day-to-day spending must be fully covered by tax revenue—now look at risk.

Her £9.9bn of “wiggle room” from October may have vanished, meaning she either cuts spending or raises taxes—neither exactly dreamy choices.

• Raise taxes Political suicide after recent hikes.

• Cut spending Likely—but where? Defence is under pressure due to Ukraine, and public services are already stretched.

• Hope for a growth rebound January retail sales picked up, but consumer and business confidence remains weak, investment is low and the UK is barely skirting a recession.

Reeves has ruled out borrowing, making spending cuts seemingly inevitable. Labour is desperate to prove economic credibility, but if she breaks her own fiscal rules, that credibility could unravel quickly.

The OBR’s verdict on March 26 is make-or-break—if they predict continued high borrowing, Reeves will have to move fast. And with a tax burden at a 70-year high, an ageing population, and the UK's growth showing no signs of picking up significantly she’s running out of easy fixes.

Javier Milei faces impeachment calls after Argentina cryptocurrency collapse

Argentine President Javier Milei seems to have taken a leaf out of Hailey “Hawk Tuah girl” Welch’s crypto pump and dump playbook.

After promoting the $LIBRA cryptocurrency as a way to support Argentine businesses, the token soared from $0.22 to over $5—before crashing 70% as early investors cashed out.

Eight digital wallets raked in $107 million, while some unfortunate traders lost over $1 million each. Accusations of a classic "rug pull" quickly followed, with suspicions that insiders pumped and dumped before retail investors caught on.

Milei deleted his posts, sparking a panic sell-off that wrecked the token's market stability and LIBRA has collapsed to $0.30.

Under growing pressure, Milei called for Argentina’s anti-corruption investigator to probe the fiasco—including his own involvement.

He later admitted fault, calling it a lesson learned, but that hasn’t stopped calls for an impeachment inquiry and an independent commission.

It raises deeper concerns about his judgment, economic credibility, and international reputation. Not that his political opponents have much of a leg to stand on when it comes to any of those…

Impeachment is unlikely for now. He still has political backing, and impeachment would require serious Congressional support. But if his economic reforms don’t deliver, this scandal could be something he is beaten over the head with if the tide starts to turn for “El Loco”.

Keir Starmer ‘ready to put troops on ground’ in Ukraine to protect peace

From Crimea to Cold War spy thrillers, Russia has always been the go-to bad guy in Britain’s foreign policy imagination.

So it’s hardly shocking that Keir Starmer’s first big foreign policy flex was to suggest sending UK troops to Ukraine as part of a peacekeeping force.

Before you crack out the Winston Churchill motivational compilations, there’s more to this than meets the eye.

Back in the day Britain was a warfare state as much as a welfare state—in the 1950s, defence spending matched health and welfare budgets combined.

Now defence spending barely scrapes 2.3% of GDP and while Starmer talks tough, the UK’s military is stretched thin, underfunded and struggling to meet NATO commitments.

Starmer is trying to position the UK as a serious player in shaping post-war Ukraine—rather than letting the US and Russia dictate the terms.

But that ambition runs into two big issues:

1. Britain’s military muscle doesn’t match its rhetoric. Starmer has promised to increase defence spending to 2.5% of GDP, but Trump is pushing NATO allies toward 5%, and without major tax hikes or cuts elsewhere, where’s the money coming from?

2. Voters want to fight Russia—but not pay for it. Britons love the idea of sending weapons and support but ask them to choose between Ukraine and the NHS, and suddenly the enthusiasm fades.

Britain wants to be a major player in shaping Ukraine’s future, but talk is cheap—and military operations are anything but. Starmer must either find the money to back up his bold rhetoric or scale back expectations.

🍻Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

Enjoy some of these tonight…

Which Ahmed al-Sharaa are you today?

(Fake) News of the Week

We’re delighted to have the scoop that Jacob Elordi (of Euphoria and bathwater slurping fame) has been tapped to play Argentine President Javier Milei in political drama “The Rug Pull”.

That’s all for today.

We’ll be back, bigger and better, next week.

Our mission is to carefully create, curate and craft the best memes to help you get up to speed with what’s happening in the world and have a few laughs whilst doing so.

If you have feedback on the newsletter and how to improve it, feel free to keep it to yourself.

Just kidding, hit reply and send us any tips/suggestions you think would level up the quality.

Thanks to Jake and Fred