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Greetings, loved ones.

Welcome to your weekly roundup of the business and politics news you need to know, delivered in meme form.

Enough foreplay, let’s get stuck in.

⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes.

Quote of the Week

Britain is on track to be the fastest-growing major European economy over the next two years, according to the International Monetary Fund’s (IMF) latest World Economic Outlook.

Growth returned to the UK economy for the first time in three months in November, while inflation has slowed and government bond yields started to fall.

The IMF expects British gross domestic product (GDP) to grow by 1.6% in 2025, up on the 1.5% it predicted last October, outstripping fellow European economies like Germany, France and Italy.

Toasting the news, Chancellor Rachel “From Accounts” Reeves pointed out that the UK is the only European country to have its growth forecast upgraded for this year and that she was willing to do “whatever it takes” to push for growth.

When they’re not busy fucking over developing countries, the IMF tend to be fairly accurate with their predictions compared to the eggheads at other economic organisations.

There are still question marks over the increased cost of borrowing and potential tax increases, but the forecast could help improve businesses confidence and get the British economy moving.

Donald Trump and Giorgia Meloni talked up the chances of a trade deal between the US and Europe, as the Italian prime minister visited Washington.

The atmosphere in the Oval Office appeared relaxed and good-natured, similar to the reception UK Prime Minister Keir Starmer received in February and the polar opposite of the shouting match with Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

European outlets have already pinned Meloni as the “Trump whisperer”.

Her right-wing leanings are likely to get through to him more than EU President Ursula Von Der Leyen, who aside from looking like a Berlin version of Hillary Clinton, has been more openly hostile towards the US and Trump.

While she didn't score any tangible wins on tariffs during the meeting, the pint-sized (pun very much intended) PM did convince Trump to accept an invitation to visit Rome, which she said would be an occasion for him to meet other European leaders and potentially broker a deal.

20% retaliatory tariffs on the EU have been temporarily suspended until July, with Meloni calling them "absolutely wrong", saying they would end up damaging the EU as much as the US.

If a deal is to be struck, it is looking increasingly likely Meloni will play an important role as an intermediary between the two sides.

Trump signals tit-for-tat China tariffs may be near end

America’s first orange President Donald Trump has signaled a potential end to the tit-for-tat tariffs between the US and China that have kept markets more unstable than an off his meds Kanye West.

In what was a surprisingly off-hand remark during the aforementioned meeting with Meloni, he indicated that he may actually understand that tariffs are passed on to consumers and not the producers in the country being “tariffed”, something he had previously denied.

Rates on Chinese imports now total 145% after Beijing retaliated with its own counter-measures, despite exceptions to the reciprocal tariffs being made for smartphones, computers and some other electronic devices.

Last week, China said "will not respond" to a "numbers game with tariffs," its own signal that across-the-board rates were unlikely to rise further.

In other words, both sides are probably getting as tired of this shit as the rest of us.

Trump said China had been in touch since the imposition of tariffs and expressed optimism that they could reach a deal.

UK Supreme Court rules trans women can’t be defined as women

The British Supreme Court has ruled that the legal definition of a woman is based on biological sex, in a decision which could have far-reaching implications for who can access single-sex services and spaces.

It came about after the Scottish government included transgender women in quotas to ensure gender balance on public sector boards. Campaign group For Women Scotland argued that sex-based protections should only apply to people born female.

The judges were tasked with deciding on the correct interpretation of “sex” and “woman” in the main piece of legislation setting out sex-based legal protections.

Specifically, they ruled that the definition of sex as used in the Equality Act 2010 is "binary" and decided by biology - a person who was not born as a biological female cannot obtain the legal protections the Act affords to women by changing their gender with a Gender Recognition Certificate.

The Act still provides transgender people with protections against discrimination.

J.K Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books, has been an outspoken advocate for the cause and bankrolled the women who brought the case forward.

She has previously gotten into hot water for making TERF (Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminist) remarks about the transgender community.

Mark Zuckerberg called to testify in Facebook parent Meta's antitrust trial

The Federal Trade Commission’s antitrust trial against Meta got under way this week in Washington D.C.

The regulator is arguing that the acquisitions of Instagram in 2012 and WhatsApp in 2014 by Facebook, as it was called then, were intended to stifle competition and that Meta has since built monopoly power in “personal social-networking”, a narrow definition that excludes the likes of X and LinkedIn.

Meta is making the argument that its ownership of both apps has improved the user experience.

I mean, their most influential investor literally has an essay titled “Competition is for Losers”. Throw in some incriminating emails and the FTC may very well be onto something.

If the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) wins the case it could force Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg to sell off both Instagram and WhatsApp.

Fuckerberg Zuckerberg had previously lobbied Donald Trump to have the FTC drop the case, but his orange pal was unable to help.

This means we’ll now all get the pleasure of seeing him transition to his previous lizard form of “courtroom Zuckerberg”, a look we haven’t seen his he was wheeled out to answer questions in the aftermath of the Cambridge Analytica scandal.

Nvidia Says US will restrict sales of more of its AI chips to China

In a regulatory filing Nvidia warned that it expects to book a $5.5 billion charge as it will now have to obtain special licences to sell its H20 chip in China.

America’s Commerce Department issued new export restrictions to China on the H20 and AMD’s MI308 chip to “safeguard our national and economic security”.

Both chips are used in artificial-intelligence applications.

This comes not long after Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang forked out $1 million at a Mar A Lago fundraiser, with an understanding that the Trump administration would shelve plans to tighten restrictions on the sale of the H20 GPUs to China.

Better luck next time Jensen.

Ghost Rider Huang has since made an emergency trip to China to “promote economic cooperation”, but no doubt there will be discussions regarding the H20 export restrictions, which accounted for around $15 billion in revenue for Nvidia in 2024.

🍻Half Pints

Quick-fire news you might have missed

Memes of the Week

Patriot of the Week

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Thanks to Rob