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🍺 New year, new me(mes)
The week's news in memes

Greetings, esteemed readers and welcome to all our new subscribers. We think you’ll like it here.
The festive season is over (sadly) and next week you’ll have to finally circle back on all those emails you kicked down the road last month.
But that’s a problem for future you.
For now, you can take a comfort break and dig into the news you need to know, delivered to you via carefully crafted and curated memes.
⏰ Today's reading time is 5 minutes.
Quote of the Week
““It says here in this history book that luckily, the good guys have won every single time. What are the odds?””
Meta will appoint Republican Joel Kaplan to replace Nick Clegg as Head of Global Policy

Meta is restructuring its global policy PR spin team as Nick Clegg steps down as Head of Global Policy and Joel Kaplan, a prominent Republican, takes over.
Kaplan, a former White House Deputy Chief of Staff under George W. Bush, has been a vocal opponent of restrictions on political speech, arguing they disproportionately affect conservative voices.
The transition comes as Mark Zuckerberg aligns more closely with the incoming Trump administration, dining with Trump at Mar-a-Lago and donating $1 million to his inauguration fund. This shift mirrors the broader recalibration of corporate America towards Trump-era priorities.
Interestingly, Clegg—who once accused Zuckerbergs rival Elon Musk of being a "political puppet master"—has faced his own share of contradictions.
While he previously warned in his role as a journalist at the Evening Standard about AI exacerbating inequality and social unrest, he later softened his stance as Head of Meta PR, spending recent years attacking EU lawmakers for creating "regulatory uncertainty" around AI.
Changing his mind on key principles is nothing new to Mr Clegg, as his political highlight was becoming a meme over his backstabbing backtracking on tuition fees increasing for UK students.
Joe Biden still believes he could have beaten Donald Trump if he had stayed in US election

Joe Biden reportedly believes he could have defeated Donald Trump in the 2024 U.S. presidential election if he had remained in the race.
It’s the hope that kills you, right?
“Sleepy” Joe Biden withdrew in July 2024 following pressure over poor polling, frequent gaffes and a widely panned debate performance.
He was replaced by his VP Kamala Harris, who ultimately lost to Trump in November's election, with Trump securing both key battleground states and the popular vote (the latter of which Biden won in 2020).
Despite stepping aside, Biden and some aides have privately expressed regret, suggesting he could have won had he stayed in the race. Given that his mental sharpness hasn’t exactly gotten any better in his last few months as President, the claim seems dubious at best.
Fellow senior citizen Trump is set to assume office on January 20, 2025, marking the start of his second term and the end of Biden’s first and only term in office.
If his last few years in office are anything to go by, it’s safe to say Biden public speaking gigs won’t be in his post-Presidency plans.

Era of cheap Russian gas to EU ends as transit across Ukraine stops

Russia has halted gas exports to the EU via Ukraine after a five-year transit deal expired, ending a decades-long arrangement and igniting a finger pointing competition amongst Eastern European countries.
Ukrainian President Zelensky condemned Russia’s profits from the war, while Poland called the cutoff a victory against Moscow. The EU, having reduced reliance on Russian gas since 2022, said most member states are prepared, but states like Moldova face significant shortages, especially in the breakaway region of Transnistria.
Slovakia, now the main entry point for Russian gas into the EU, warned of rising costs and tensions. Prime Minister Robert Fico predicted "drastic" consequences and threatened to cut electricity supplies to Ukraine, prompting sharp criticism from Zelensky.
Poland assured alternative gas routes exist via Germany, Croatia, and the US. Moldova however remains vulnerable, with accusations of Russian "energy blackmail" aimed at destabilizing the country ahead of its elections. Meanwhile, the EU continues to diversify energy sources through Liquified Natural Gas imports and Norwegian pipelines.
Moral of the story: don’t expect your energy bills to get any lower in the near future.
Tesla sales stall as China's BYD closes in on its EV market share

Tesla's sales fell by 1% in 2024, marking its first annual decline in over a decade.
Despite repeated price cuts, the company struggled with weak demand, rising borrowing costs, and fierce competition from Chinese rival BYD, which sold 1.76 million EVs and surged in hybrid sales.
Tesla's challenges extended to key markets like the US, Europe, and China, where price wars and softening EV demand impacted growth. Rivals like Volkswagen, Ford, and GM also scaled back EV targets amid ongoing market uncertainty.
CEO Elon Musk partly blamed higher interest rates, but analysts point to increased competition and Musk's controversial political “interests” as contributing factors.
BYD may be on the ascendency at the moment, but they aren’t without their problems.
Their legal team clearly isn’t the strongest, as they didn’t seem to catch the memo that Brazil abolished slavery in 1888. On top of that, they face increased competition from their Japanese counterparts Nissan and Honda (who recently announced a merger).

Apple to pay $95m to settle Siri 'listening' lawsuit

Just when you thought your ads couldn’t get any more creepily accurate…
Apple has agreed to pay $95 million to settle a class-action lawsuit alleging its Siri voice assistant violated user privacy by unintentionally recording private conversations and sharing them with third party advertisers.
The settlement, filed in Oakland federal court, covers the period from September 17, 2014, to December 31, 2024. Eligible users could receive up to $20 per Siri-enabled device.
Plaintiffs cited instances where casual conversations about products triggered related ads, raising privacy concerns. Apple denied any wrongdoing despite agreeing to settle, which is not uncommon with these types of cases but still leaves more questions than answers.
Lawyers may seek up to $28.5 million in fees and $1.1 million in expenses from the settlement fund.
Odds on the new slogan?

Trump sides with Elon Musk in H-1B visa debate, says he's always been in favor of the program

Donald Trump publicly backed the H-1B visa program for skilled foreign workers, aligning with Elon Musk, who is a former H-1B visa holder himself.
This comes after Musk vowed to defend the visa program against criticism from wingnut activists like Steve Bannon, who argue it threatens American jobs, which to be fair isn’t without truth.
There have been instances where American workers were forced to train their H-1B replacements before being laid off themselves. Ouch.
Trump, who previously sought to restrict H-1B visas during his presidency, stated he’s always supported the program, highlighting its role in his own businesses.
Musk emphasised the tech industry’s reliance on skilled foreign talent, pointing out a lack of domestic expertise to fill critical roles.
The dispute was triggered by Trump’s appointment of Sriram Krishnan, an Indian American tech investor, as an AI adviser, sparking backlash from immigration hardliners. Indian workers accounted for 78% of H-1B visas last year.
The controversy underscores a growing divide within Trump’s base over immigration policies as tech leaders like Musk take on influential advisory roles in shaping Trump’s administration.
🍻Half Pints
Quick-fire news you might have missed
Meme of the Day

Comment of the Week
People in real life: “Hey man hows it going?”
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That’s all for today.
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